Monday, February 24, 2014

Where's your Mum?

Kiki: Where's your dad, dadda?
Mr Rabbit: He's at home, in Albury.
Kiki: In the Straya?
Mr Rabbit: Yeah, with Grandmama. She's my mum.
Kiki: Oh! Where's your dad, mama?
Me: He's at home in Point Lonsdale! My dad is Grandad!
Kiki: And where's your mum?
Me: She's... not.. here! She's not here with us any more. She's not on the earth.
Kiki: Is she in the Straya?
Me: No.
Kiki: Is she in Singapore?
Me: No.
Kiki: Oh. Is she sick?
Me: No. Well, she was - but not any more.
Kiki. Oh. She's better now.
Me: Yeah, she's all better now. She's great.
Kiki: Does she have a garden?
Me: Yes...
Kiki: Can I go and visit her garden? On Thursday?
Me: No, you can't visit the garden. But you can close your eyes and imagine it...


It is february and the day suddenly stayed up two more hours - literally on wednesday it was dark at 5 and on thursday at 7 - and the sky went all blue and the jasmine came out everyone is walking around thinking - is this real? Maybe it's just me. Last winter was a six month funk of grey and ink that never distanced itself from your skin long enough to let you breathe, a neverending cloak of misery, one of those huge heavy ones people have in country houses that hang by the back door all ugly and heavy and dripped on with dried rain and full of the tall heavy grandfather who once wore it centuries ago. It's so hard to get off you. Well the cloak is not this year and I can't help but feel suspicious and then I feel guilty for not just going with it. I can feel Mr Rabbit thinking - god, can't you just enjoy it? That is so him. Why do i have to always think so hard, wonder - is it the Armageddon? No, Rabbit, it's just a nice day. Sit in the sun and put it on your face for a bit and don't worry. A kingdom to be slightly less thinky.