Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Print or Die

Dear reader,
It is 2014 and the time has come for me to bid adieu to this project, which has served me mega in providing a portal through which to pour myself, over several years now. I love writing and I love being read and though this blog has been a lovely haven into which to pour my ideas and experimentations, there is a time and a place to take the step into the unfamiliar - to take a punt on the big world of actual publishing. It is such a liberating thing to be able to publish oneself, and I'm so grateful to live in this day when we can decide for ourselves what we see fit for the public eye, rather than wait for dumb old fat cats to tell us we deserve it. The only danger of that is that in turn we become so accustomed to our safe little hole with its faithful community of friends and onlookers that we never attempt to step on to the world stage and, with fat cat approval, fail, or otherwise. I always liked to construct safe walls around my work - I was always the star... of school. But in the real world I have never existed - yet. I've never really tried. I think it's because I just love to work, and could perhaps be quite happy tapping away into the void forever, cuddling up safely inside my own work, but the trouble is, I do have ambition, and a giant ego, and it would be fucking cool to actually be heard and read by the wider public. A friend of mine the other day told me that I was a dumb Instagrammer - a dumper - and that in order to garner a following, you should be more restrained, dosing your images out one by one so you get more likes. This was absurd to me, because I never put pictures on instagram to get likes, I just liked to put them on there for myself, as a record of my life going by. I can be seen in trains regularly scanning back through my photo lists, just to marvel at the way things change. I could easily be that person, neatly recording my life and observations in blogs and albums, snuggling up with it all around me, never sharing it with anyone further than friends and family. I love that. I could totally do that. But I have the feeling I might hit 70 and think - fuck.
It's time to wrap it up. From now on, the words will stay private until they're printed on a page - or nothing. That's the new project - Print or Die. For as satisfying as cyber life is, there is nothing quite like holding your real life baby in your arms, and putting it on the shelf. I want to fill a shelf with stuff. It has been real, writing this blog, and I love it and am proud of it, and it is a Something, but it has no weight until I make a book of it and touch the pages, and I want sensuality. I want to get out of my head this year and touch things.
I love you, and thank you. There have been other Ends, and there will probably be more, but for now, here I am, signing off.
Yours faithfully,