Friday, February 22, 2013

Rambles from the Roller Coaster

It's hard to talk about things in the moment. Especially when they're cripplingly big. I need to get better at it - be able to say out loud - help - I'm suffocating - right now! Help - the feelings are so intense I can't even speak! Help! I'm a tiny man in a box! Ah Rob Brydon. I wonder if he hits those sort of lows, he doesn't really seem to be the type. I definitely reckon Steven Coogan is. I can imagine Steven sinking into weeks of depression without speaking, looking at himself in the mirror, pulling sad clown faces. I wonder who I'd prefer to be - Rob or Steven? The insecure superstar or the steadier, healthier one. Less flashingly brilliant, but solid, great. I'm just thinking of The Trip here, they might have just been characters. I think in that (masterpiece) I would still choose to be Steven. It's a bit fucked up, because Steven is clearly way more miserable than Rob. Rob is flawed and searching too, but he is way more even and grounded. Life doesn't seem so complex to him. And he has a wife and baby. Steven is lost and frustrated. And spectacular. I feel so sorry for him that he can't enjoy his successes and his stature. He feels old. But he's so very real. I am definitely more him, minus the success and stature. And even though it drives me nuts I suppose I'd have to say I would always choose the roller coaster over the merry-go-round.

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