I am an awful friend who forgets birthdays.
I hate myself.
Trouble is, I don't know dates. Dates have no rhythm to me, ie, daily. That is no excuse, I know. I want to pay more attention to dates as of now. A friend has this fantastic little calendar in her john with people's birthdays and anniversaries in it. It's not a yearly calendar, it's a life calendar, that repeats year after year - I know because I've been there two years running and I've seen that it is still there and turned to the correct month. It's not cumbersome or imposing, it just sits there quietly and informatively by the light switch as you stare at it blindly, semi-registering that today is in fact a number and perhaps it is a day you should be present on, rather than slipping through again on your blurry rollercoaster. The john is the perfect time to be reminded of such things, rather than, say, reading the same paragraph of the new yorker fiction section. The new yorker doesn't belong in the john, you don't get enough time. It belongs on the kitchen table, the bedside. My john shall from now on be empty, aside from the little calendar. I will look at it, note that today is 25. Think - hmmm - nothing today, but what about tomorrow? Interesting. Must not forget that one. Next week? Birthday season. Must remember to buy...etc etc etc. And I will add to it, the more dates I gather to remember as life goes on. And I will be good. I will be a rememberer.
I have tried to find a little calendar such as the above but they don't seem to exist and you really want one that you like because you're going to have to live with it for a while. I found a nice one but it was in Italian and I didn't want to risk looking at Gennaio instead of January and drifting off on some italian loo fantasy. You can make them yourself online, but they look cheap and dicky. I need one with authority.
Anyway, it's no excuse, the dates, the calendar, the john. I'm sorry Angel. I love you every day. Your birthday is so important to me. I promise I'll be better.