Thursday, February 23, 2012

New, Old

I am forever astounded by the newness of Kiki.

The sprouting of brand new shining golden hairs from her head.

Her discovery of steps.

The delight in her eyes at the start of a new day.

I feel so very old all of a sudden.

Tired.

I'm jealous of her newness sometimes.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be seeing everything for the first time, to feel all the little new things.

And yet it doesn't seem long ago.

How insane to think you'll be young forever. I think I actually did. It scares me to look down now and see the skin on my hands turning dry. I slather them with all sorts of butters in tubes.

But it's inevitable.

I can't go back. I'm glad I get to look at Kiki from this place, there are ages I'm glad I won't live again. Fourteen for example.

But it would be nice to be such a sweet new lump of luscious flesh, still to discover all that being young.

Perhaps I'm just in love. And my love for her is so vast that I wish I had more time - a whole new lifetime of time would be nice - I would like to love her from the age of a newborn until an old old woman.

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