Saturday, February 19, 2011

More conversations with Kiki

You are nigh
I know, I’m high
No, you’re nigh.  Soon you’ll be low.
Get down low and go go go
Hey Kiki
Yes mother?
Is it you that decides to emerge or is it me that instigates it?
I think it’s you
Really?  How do I do it?
Well you don’t really decide, your body does
I thought it was you, you start to wriggle down…
Well I guess it depends
Gosh I hope you’re not like I was and don’t wriggle, then they’ll have to get out those awful salad tongs
Yeah then I’ll be all bashed up like you were, all squiggly, too squished up and ugly to even show to Nan for fear of upsetting her
I hope they don’t have to do that
Me neither
Maybe we can collaborate
Maybe.  You could begin by giving me a bit more room.  Jesus…
Sorry!  I don’t know what to do!  Your bottom comes out my side.  Do you know what it’s like walking around with a bottom sticking out your side?
That must be rather freaky.
It really is.  I feel like a mutant!
You are.  You’re mutating.
An alien freak.
It is alien.
I’ll say.  Hey Kiki?
Yes spawner
Did you know your Granddad was here to visit?
Oh that’s who that was with the voice and the pats and the Mutley laugh…
Yeah.  We played euchre.
..and those same Lampoon’s jokes over and over again?  ‘If I had a rubber hose…
Oooh, I liked him.  He has a house at the beach, non?  Does that mean I get to hang out with him and go swimming and stuff?  I hope so.  Will he give me every little thing I want?
Quite possibly.  He came all the way to Paris to visit you and he can’t even see you yet, well except for the protrusion
Must you call me that?
Well, the… pudding.
Yes Kiki?
Have you found a name?
There is one we like, but we don’t know if it suits you yet.  It’s a kind of fruit.
Oh great.  Peaches. 
I bought you lots of clothes in the sales.  I found the most adorable -
I know – you keep buying things you want to wear, but in miniature.
True.  Gosh the things are so beautiful though, in -
Don’t do a Black Swan on me, will you.  I’m not you.  I’ll never be you.
I know, but it does satiate some weird urge.  Maybe it makes me feel better because I’m not actually buying it for me, but still, in some way, it is for me.  You should see the tiny marinière
You wear stripes, if I wear stripes too we’ll look like a ladies’ doubles team.
Can I go back to my kicks now?
Does it hurt when I do them?
No, not really.  I’ve never understood that.  It’s my insides you’re kicking.  Why doesn’t it hurt? 
Yeah that is funny.  I kick really, really hard.
I know.  I worry sometimes that you’re suffocating in there and trying to kick your way out.  Like some Houdini trick gone wrong.  Helllp!  I'm inside here!  Untie me!  Pleeeease!!  I can't breeeea-  
It's not like that, really, I like it in here.  I’m just practising moves.
Oh good.  I don’t mind either.  The dancing on the bladder is pretty intense though. 
Oh sorry about that.  It’s soft.
Exactly.  Let's go to sleep now.
Nigh night mum
Night Kiks
Kiki is already a short name.  You don’t need to shorten it again. 
Whoops – habit. 
I still can’t get used to that.
Soon we won’t be inside each other.
I know.
We’ll split, like an atom.
Like a banana.
I won’t be a subset of you any more.
No, we’ll be mutually exclusive. 
That might be strange, don’t you think?
Yes and no. This whole experience has been mighty weird.
Will you miss the cohabitation?
I think so.  But it will be amazing to see your face.
Yeah!  I wonder what I look like…
I wonder that too.  I sort of imagine you looking like Hit Girl from Kick-ass.  Probably because of the kicks. 
I might be a squidgy alien.  Will you still love me if I’m a squiggly one?
I think so.  Let’s go to sleep now.  Seriously.  I feel like a tired old cow.
I really don’t feel like sleeping.
That’s ok, I’m used to that.
Goodnight mum.
Goodnight kicky
It’s not Apple is it?
Cherry?  Ruby Red Grapefruit?  Tangerine?  Some sort of stonefruit?
At least give me a clue.  Mango?  Ka-POW.  Passionfruit.  Passionfruit!!!  Kumquat?  Feijoa?  Pear.  PLUM!  
Goodnight tiny dancer
You say it last
You say it last!
Stop copying!
Stop copying!
(Etc.  Until sunrise.)


  1. I am a little undone by this conversation. Feel like an imposter sitting in on the most intimate conversation.... I'll just wait outside. Looking forward to hearing what little Kiwi has to say when she reaches the outside world. Or is it Clementine? Whichever - here's hoping she will be a little fruity like her mum! x

  2. I am transported humbled moved to tears laughter softness. xnx