Friday, November 5, 2010

Things I've Learnt in Berlin

The Premiere of Soft Landing was a raving success and I just woke up all smoky-haired and post-show plucky and our call time isn't until 6, so The Love and I will just get to laze around and write Posts and eat stuff, which is lovely. And book our train trip back to Paris, which is only a few days away. 

Goodness!  I will miss Berlin.

Here are a few Things I've Learnt since I've been here:

'Tchuz' doesn't mean 'Cheers'. It means Goodbye and can't be said in the place of 'Thanks'.

You look like an idiot if you say 'Tchuz' in the Australian way, ie, like you're saying 'Thanks'.

Milch is the cutest way in the human language to say Milk. Especially when said in high kitten voice. Milch! Milch!

Meine Liebe is the loveliest way in the human language to say My Love. Meine... lieberrr..

You can never eat enough Mexican food.

You can eat enough schnitzel.

There should be more Mexican food joints in the world like Maria Bonita, where they have Ms Pac Man to play while you eat your tacos.

There should be more Atari consoles in houses. And restaurants.

Some Atari games have endured the ravages of time, ie, Ms Pac Man. But Donkey Kong Jnr, Jungle Hunt and the car ones generally haven't.

Schwartzkopf may mean ‘black’ and ‘head’ but does not mean Blackhead.

Viewing platforms in toilets can be confronting, informative and revelatory.

Bike cities are Best.

Germans are sweet, kind and warm. Unless they don’t like you. Which is your own fault.

Fashion should never be an effort.  Or at least never look like it was.

Art does matter.

You do build up calf strength after a few weeks of living on the 5th floor, no elevator.

You can worship Ol' Dirty Bastard from the Wu-Tang Clan and Buddha at the same time.

Sausage is Gut, especially on Saturdays.

Capuccinos can have less froth than Macchiatos, depending on the city.

Once you say Enschuldigung once you’ll never stop.

German, when spoken quietly, is a gentle, lilting language. When called out across a street it can make your earholes bleed.

The smell of Death and History lingers in stairwells longer than you can imagine.

In winter, kids look cuter.

Ping Pong should always be played 'China' style - ie, 'Round-The-World', with at least forty players crowded around one single table, clutching cheap drinks in their sweaty palms, hearts racing with anticipation - would they crack at the last minute and piff the thing out on the full? Or dink it impotently into the net?

Ping Pong should always be played in cement-trench-graff-plastered bars with hungry players, wearing track-suits.

There should always be one excellent Ping Pong player at the table, preferably Korean, holding a bat with no sponge on it up the wrong way.

There should always be one hot track-suit-wearing female around the Ping Pong table who makes it through to the very end, making all the limpy, impotent men who dinked it into the net horny. She should then lose to the Korean and everyone throw their hands up in the air, before lining themselves back up to play it all again, sullen and war-nervous.

Smoking is still acceptable - it tastes good.  

Riding a bike without a helmet is still acceptable - it looks good. 

The best way to discover a city is to live in it and visit no landmarks whatsoever.

That you may feel like a scumbag for not having visited any landmarks whatsoever, but that is ok. 

It's true when they say Berlin is one of the best cities in the world.

There is a difference between orange juice that has been squeezed by hand and orange juice that has been made in a juicer.

Have a lovely day.


The Bunny


  1. U left out quite an important detail about your day ahead. Hope yer ready for some more effortless fashion. X

  2. oooh i certainly am! have spent hours perfecting the perfect effortless look x