I can't think of anything to write today so I thought I'd do one of Miranda July's Learning to Love you More assignments.
52: Write a phone call you wish you could have.
Wow I can’t believe I’m hearing your voice.
It’s me! It’s nice to hear you too. How are you?
I’m good. But I miss you. How are you?
I’m great. I miss you too. But I’m really, really well and happy.
Oh that’s so good to hear. I was worried. Where are you?
In the clouds, in the sky, in the sea…
Wow, what’s that like?
What do you do?
I do all sorts of things. My job title is Light Worker. I help people with things. And I work with the babies, like I used to. It’s a bit different though, now I prepare them to send down to people. It’s a lovely job.
It’s funny, I thought you might be doing something like that. Because I couldn’t feel you when you were gone. As though you were busy, you didn’t have time to hang around. Different to Gran.
Yes, that’s true.
And are you happy?
I’m very happy. Because I get to be with the beautiful babies all the time and I also get to be with you all too. I know you can’t see me. But I’m actually there all the time, like the people said. I know you hated them for saying that. But they were right, I am here. All the time.
God those people really annoyed me. But that’s truly wonderful to know. Thanks mum!
That’s all right darling.
Will you send me babies?
Oh, that’s so exciting. Maybe they will be a bit like you.
They will have me in them, because I sent them especially.
Mum, it’s really hard here without you. I ache for you. I miss talking to you so much. I have thousands of questions. And I miss the smell of you and the feel of you. I miss your face. Sometimes I get really sad, so sad I could tear the walls down.
Try not to be sad my Rabbit. Try to remember that I am happy and at peace and don’t worry about me. I had a wonderful life. And now I have a new job to do.
But don’t you think it’s unfair?
No, it’s just life.
Will I see you again?
When I die?
Unreal. Do you see Pop? And Ronnie? And Gran?
Yes, I see them every day. They send their love to you all and want you to know they are happy and well. It really is wonderful in this place.
I love you Mum.
I love you too Rabbit, with all my soul. I’m so proud of you. You’re doing great.